I had a pretty restless night because of the constant nurse parade, but at least I had a bed. Jeremy was folded into some horribly uncomfortable looking chair that opened up to a "bed". Dr. Hank came by to check on me early in the morning. Unfortunately, he told me that he wasn't going to be around today since it was his day off, but the on-call doctor was great and he said I'd be fine. He promised to check on me later that night and again the next morning. Shortly thereafter the delivering doctor came by. She was a friendly tiny Indian woman and I liked her immediately. However, she had bad news. I had not progressed through the night and I was still only dilated at about 2cm. She recommended Pitocin to kickstart the contractions and optimistically proclaimed that we'd have a baby by 11am. In my excitement, I agreed because I was ready to meet the little guy! Every hour after that a nurse came by to check to see where I was dilated and each time they increased the dosage of Pitocin. 11am came and went.
At some point a nurse checked on me and discovered meconium in the sheets which meant the baby had pooped inside of me. I knew from my birthing class that it wasn't a good thing and meant the baby was stressed. I was already running a fever and this bit of bad news meant that there was now a fear of infection. My cart of liquid baggies was getting top heavy. I had my IV and Pitocin, sugar water for my low blood sugar, and now they added antibiotics for me and antibiotics for the baby.
At 3pm the Doctor said that I was not dilating and the Pitocin wasn't working. She summarized that I had: vomited, had a fever, and now with the meconium we needed to watch for infection. She warned if I was not dilated to at least 4cm in one hour we would need to do a c-section. It was not the news I wanted to hear and I cried.
At 4pm I was still no closer to 4cm. The doctor said it was time and we needed to get the baby out now. Once it was decided there was a swirl of activity. Family was rushed out, Jeremy was given scrubs, I was shaved, given some foul tasting liquid to neutralize my stomach which made me vomit (again) and then just as suddenly as it had started all of the activity stopped. We had gotten bumped by a higher priority emergency c-section. Waiting was hard because I wanted it over and I felt ill-prepared about the specifics of what was going to happen to my body. In my mind I was not going to have a c-section so I had simply skipped over anything related to c-sections in my books and averted my eyes when it was time to watch the video in class. But so far nothing had gone as I had prepared so I figured it was just as well that I hadn't read much about c-sections.
Finally they came to get us. The room I was wheeled into was huge and very white and very bright and very sterile. Jeremy waited in a hallway while I was prepped. After awkwardly being moved from the guerny to a narrow operating table my arms were spread out on a thin rail like I was crucified. Administering the anesthesia took forever because apparently they need to be extremely cautious after an epidural. After each minor adjustment to the dosage I was pricked, prodded and sprayed with air to determine just how much I could feel. It took forever. I was tired and became confused about what I could and couldn't feel. In hindsight I don't believe that I was actually as anesthecised as I should have been. As a reaction to the anesthesia that I did get I began to shake uncontrollably as if I was cold. My teeth chattered and then I vomited. Once the blue 'curtain" was hung separating my view of my lower half Jeremy was brought in and positioned on a stool by my head on my left side. When they began I felt a lot of movement, hard tugging and tremendous pressure. It was incredibly uncomfortable and I was in pain. I actually thought that I might die. Really. And then I heard a cry, the doctor said, "it's a boy" and this tiny red, screaming thing was brought to us. I couldn't believe that our baby was finally here.
Jeremy and I had previously agreed that if we had a c-section he would not leave the baby's side. Since I wouldn't be allowed immediate skin on skin contact following birth we wanted the baby to at least be comforted by his Daddy's presence. Jeremy joined the nurse to help clean him up while I stared at the ceiling and listened. I cried because I felt so far away even though they were just in the corner of the room. And then the pain I had previously endured became incomparable. I have no idea what the Doctor was actually doing but it felt as though someone was sitting on my stomach and bouncing up and down. With each push I let out a loud grunt. My whole body lifted up. It seemed to take forever and my shakes had gotten progressively worse. I was in a tremendous amount of pain. (I didn't know it until later but I was hemorrhaging.) Finally, I was moved to a bed and wheeled into a "recovery room". I had to wait there for several hours before I could be settled into my own room. Jeremy came back shortly thereafter with our baby and while I was happy to see them I couldn't really express it because of the amount of pain I was in. I was given Morphine which I could self regulate. Every 6 minutes I pushed the button and waited another 6 minutes so I could push it again. My Mom, Brother, Tobey and Shannon all took turns coming in to say hi. I barely remember any of it because I was so blinded by the pain. I was also intensely thirsty but not allowed anything until I got to my room. I couldn't wait to get to my private room. And while I couldn't really interact with family and friends I just laid there, pushing my little button, and watching my husband as he held his new baby son. He was so full of love and so happy.
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